How to Stay Friends On Holiday
Have you ever been on a trip and unexpectedly found yourself in a row with your travel companion? Maybe more than a bit of a row? A blazing shout-out? As we travel around, we often ask what is it about being away from our routines that causes tempers to rise? From our experiences of travelling millions of miles, we have pulled together some great tips on how to stay friends on holiday.
Tips for How To Stay Friends on Holiday
Isn’t it a strange thing? We are all excited about our upcoming trip with our partner, friend, family member. Then, when we are on the trip, a little tension starts to creep in. In your head, questions form.
“Why don’t they want to get up early and go explore? OMG, Why do they just want to hang out by the pool all day? Why don’t they want to try water skiing or ice climbing while we’re here?”
Maybe you feel pressured by others. Thoughts appear like, “I better say yes to going to this bar, but I’ve really had enough to drink and just want to relax and read my book.” You might be thinking, “I would rather not spend that amount of my hard saved cash.
Going On A Trip Changes Routines
Let’s be honest. We’ve probably all felt some of these emotions while travelling with others. Being away from our routines, is a big reason why we want a one or two week holiday. It’s a ritual that has become so much a part of our lives.
For many, it’s our owed reward for working so hard and Harvard Business Review also points out the importance of everyone having some ‘time off’.
However, we maybe don’t admit to it, but as humans we also like some routine! Simple activities like our morning coffee, our favourite Instagram checks, our gym sessions, that weekend catch up with a friend over a glass of wine are all part of our routines. These are the little nuggets of life we coast along with.
Ask Yourself – How Well do We Know Each Other?
In reality, day to day we don’t spend 24/7 with those we go on holiday with. If I’m out working all day, I won’t see my husband until I get home. He might be travelling for work and not even back until the weekend.
It could be the kids are out at school or university, and you see them when they bring their laundry or need a ride somewhere (sounds familiar?). Am sure you know what we mean.
Even with friends, you’re spending a little time with them for sure, but you’re not ‘living’ with them 24/7. You may love them dearly but do you want to spend a full vacation with them?
So how do you avoid ‘falling out’?
Tips To Help Avoid Fights
A fight is not inevitable. With a positive and realistic mindset, it’s possible to get along when travelling and navigate the bumps that could show up, just as they do in general life. If we’re friends day to day, there’s no reason not to stay friends on holiday.
Sometimes stress and arguments may be the result of someone agreeing to a trip when they don’t really want to. If you have a reluctant traveller in your life, check out our travel tips to help them put the joy back in their travels!
Travel Teamwork
Travel as a Team. This is a partnership. Both travellers have a stake in making this a trip to remember (for all the right reasons!). Even when you are deciding where to go, don’t agree to go somewhere until you’ve checked it out a little.
Everyone travelling should take an interest and understand each others’ expectations. You may want to be hiking the Inca Trail in Peru to see Machu Pichu, but your travelling partner may prefer the train ride.
No-one is right or wrong. Discuss how you can each do our own activity ie. compromise to create a great time for you both.
Pre Agree Budgets Before You Book!
Agree Budgets. This might be a sensitive subject but before you agree to a joint trip, talk about budget, both in terms of the holiday and the expected spend when you get there.
Everyone’s financial situation is different. An all inclusive might be attractive and sensible if you’re taking your teenage or young adult kids (See our post on Corfu with Grown Up Kids) and you’re paying for everyone!
Do your research and be clear on what you feel you can spend per day on food, entertainment etc. Again, you don’t all have to do everything together all holiday long.
Use our How to Snag a Travel Deal tips for more ideas to how to manage to an agreed budget when planning your travels.
Agree To Cook or Not to Cook Before You Book
Agree Accommodation Choice. Luxury 5-star hotels, Air B&Bs, small family run motels, yurt camping – which one? The choice of where to stay is endless.
If you and your prospective travel partner have very different ideas, think about whether you might be better off having a shorter trip away. Try a weekend first, just to see if you are compatible for a longer trip.
If your partner prefers one type of accommodation and you another, we have found rotating works well. If you like your own space, book separate rooms. A friend may be fun to hang out with but if they snore and you can’t sleep, that’s going to ruin things.
Do your Own Thing (some of the time)
Activities. A trip away is a unique opportunity to relax and recuperate away from the stresses of day to day living. It is also a gift in terms of the opportunity to tip our toes into change.
Trying an activity like snorkelling, tennis, sailing, hiking in a new place can be such fun. If that’s not your scene though, say so but do encourage the other person(s) to go ahead.
I’m not a water baby but my husband loves to scuba dive. But, I’ve spent many a happy day pottering around spots as far afield as Belize and Bali while he’s off on a dive trip.
Later, it’s fun to share what you’ve both been up to during the day over a cocktail (or two!) – bit like being back at home but less about what went on in the office that day!
Use Technology to Stay Friends on Holiday
Unfamiliarity. Being in a foreign country, where perhaps you don’t speak the language, can add an element of stress to trips.
Simple things like ordering food, asking directions, can cause friction between travellers, if things don’t go as imagined. Even when we speak almost the same language, new places can throw a wrench in the plan.
Now we have Google Maps (yippee), translators on our phones and every imaginable means to track where we are. Not that getting lost doesn’t happen, it does!
But try and laugh about it, stop, find a coffee shop, re-group and move forward. Sometimes a wrong turn means you find something you never expected. Read our tips on how to cope when you don’t speak the language.
Plan Activities For Everyone
Family. Holidays with different aged children can be a challenge especially when they want to do different things.
Generational travel is very popular these days. We have spent many wonderful holidays travelling with family whose ages have ranged from 8 to 80. With such holidays, it is important to manage everyone’s expectations.
Be honest with each other, communicate and find a balance of activities that works for everyone. If your teenage kids don’t want to go to a museum with you, don’t make them. It is a holiday for everyone, after all.
Just Say Sorry and Move Forward
Recovery. Ok, so you have had a bit of a bust up or an almighty row about something. You’re in the middle of a 2 week trip and you’re both likely thinking, “ I’m never doing this again”. Maybe you won’t! That’s ok. But, you’re somewhere new, somewhere that excited you to make the effort to journey here.
For those reasons alone, you need to work through some sort of recovery even if at that moment of time you’re not the best of buddies. Talk out your differences.
Agree what to do for the remaining time in a constructive way. Maybe just go for a drink and talk about how to spend the rest of your time.
Try Smiling to Defuse Tensions
Smile. Forgive something silly. Saying sorry might be hard but apologise if you drunk too much and spoilt an evening or insisted on doing something that was selfish.
You may need to agree to have a day of doing your own thing, perhaps to let the dust settle. Alternatively, agree to do that special excursion together or as a family that you debated doing creating a positive memory before you end your trip.
Wrap Up: Staying Friends on Holiday
Like most things in life, don’t take company for granted. We all have our idiosyncrasies, our habits that we are blind to. Give that person space to be themselves, go with the flow, speak up and don’t feel pressurized.
Ultimately, however your trip ends take a little time to reflect when you’re back home. Then, decide whether you’d travel with them again or not!
Your travel companion may be having exactly the same thoughts as you. So, don’t be hesitant to share ‘what worked and what perhaps could be better or different, if you do travel together again!
